monster trucks... with guns... on other planets.  ok, design department,
once you're done smoking crack, why don't you put the game together?
the only problem is, the kept RIGHT ON SMOKING CRACK while they were
programming this game!
 
in numbers:
 
ORIGINALITY - 7 - ok, i'll bite.  it looks pretty interesting in still
pictures...
 
RESPONSE - 5 - now, if i do just as well whether i steer my truck or
not, what good does it do me to bother using the controller at all?  i
think it responded ok, but hell, i couldn't even tell.
 
GRAPHICS - 8 - like i said, it LOOKS nice... but i'll bet your ex-lover
LOOKED nice, too.
 
ANIMATION - 6 - not terribly well-executed.
 
SOUND FX - 4 - vroom vroom shouldn't be too hard, but evidently it is.
either that or the aforementioned "crack" theory is accurate!

MUSIC - 4 - i suppose a 4 is kind of an unfair number to use--after all,
i took this game back to the store almost immediately, and i really
don't remember the music at all.  suffice it to say that i don't
remember it really exciting me at all.
 
in practice:
 
on the M.A.R.C.H. scale (of IGNORE IT, RENT IT, or BUY IT)...
 
OFF-WORLD INTERCEPTOR EXTREME
CRYSTAL DYNAMICS
 
IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE IT
 
the next time i want someone to ruin a good idea, i'll know who to call.